I have been thinking about having my own blog for months and probably the last 1-2 years. Sometimes i dont know why, not sure why I want to write online and also what would i write about. Then i have the days like the ones in the past weeks where I had so much to write about I wish i had my own blog, so here I am, finally I have my own blog.
You must be asking why whats happened in these weeks? I tell you a lot! For the first time in my life and in my professional career I broke down in tears at work, cried for over an hour. I always used to think that it wouldnt happen to me, I am a strong person….but now i have learned that it doesnt matter how strong you are, when you are treated differently at work and physologically bullied its hard for anyone to take. I also cried as I was angry, i went blank, couldnt see, i was shaking, i didnt know what to do, i couldnt believe people can speak to other people like that, neither should that be allowed. Yes, we need to work and try our best, but we all make some mistakes and we dont go to work to be shouted at, be spoken down to and get picked on. It wasnt the first time by the way as I can always make that allowance for someone ‘not having a good day’. But it had been a few weeks of being spoken to like that. This shouldnt happen to anyone, so i decided enough is enough.
I will keep you updated as to what happens in the days to come!
If this has happened to you too, take charge and dont accept this behaviour, it is not normal and you should speak up!
I am listing some bullying signs i got them from the below site, i think its a very helpful article, so please do read the below too http://www.yourerc.com/blog/post/20-Subtle-Signs-of-Workplace-Bullying.aspx
These subtle signs are all used to create an emotional reaction, usually anxiety, which establishes greater control and power over the victim.
- Deceit. Repeatedly lying, not telling the truth, concealing the truth, deceiving others to get one’s way, and creating false hopes with no plans to fulfill them
- Intimidation. Overt or veiled threats; fear-inducing communication and behavior
- Ignoring. Purposefully ignoring, avoiding, or not paying attention to someone; “forgetting” to invite someone to a meeting; selectively greeting or interacting with others besides a victim
- Isolation/exclusion. Intentionally excluding someone or making them feel socially or physically isolated from a group; purposefully excluding someone from decisions, conversations, and work-related events
- Rationalization. Constantly justifying or defending behavior or making excuses for acting in a particular manner
- Minimization. Minimizing, discounting, or failing to address someone’s legitimate concerns or feelings
- Diversion. Dodging issues, acting oblivious or playing dumb, changing the subject to distract away from the issue, canceling meetings, and avoiding people
- Shame and guilt. Making an employee constantly feel that they are the problem, shaming them for no real wrongdoing, or making them feel inadequate and unworthy
- Undermining work. Deliberately delaying and blocking an employee’s work, progress on a project or assignment, or success; repeated betrayal; promising them projects and then giving them to others; alternating supportive and undermining behavior
- Pitting employees against each other. Unnecessarily and deliberately pitting employees against one another to drive competition, create conflict, or establish winners and losers; encouraging employees to turn against one another
- Removal of responsibility. Removing someone’s responsibilities, changing their role, or replacing aspects of their job without cause
- Impossible or changing expectations. Setting nearly impossible expectations and work guidelines; changing those expectations to set up employees to fail
- Constant change and inconsistency. Constantly changing expectations, guidelines, and scope of assignments; constant inconsistency of word and action (e.g. not following through on things said)
- Mood swings. Frequently changing moods and emotions; sharp and sudden shifts in emotions
- Criticism. Constantly criticizing someone’s work or behavior, usually for unwarranted reasons
- Withholding information. Intentionally withholding information from someone or giving them the wrong information
- Projection of blame. Shifting blame to others and using them as a scapegoat; not taking responsibility for problems or issues
- Taking credit. Taking or stealing credit for other people’s ideas and contributions without acknowledging them
- Seduction. Using excessive flattery and compliments to get people to trust them, lower their defenses, and be more responsive to manipulative behavior
- Creating a feeling of uselessness. Making an employee feel underused; intentionally rarely delegating or communicating with the employee about their work or progress; persistently giving employees unfavorable duties and responsibilities